Kale is the new black and men are the new burnt orange (as if anyone actually likes that color). I have to say that I enjoy dating about as much as I enjoy gorgonzola cheese on my frisée salad. Like I’m not gonna be a betch and send it back, but I’m not gonna instagram it either. Dating is the hot crop top that’s supposed to make you look skinny but kind of makes you look like a wide load. Dating is the whole wheat chocolate chip muffin that’s actually a sneaky sugar bomb cupcake made with an eighth a cup of whole grain flour. Dating is your grandma’s vintage turquoise wool sweater that’s supposed to be totally rad but actually feels like you have chicken pox. Dating is like interviewing for a job that you don’t even know if you really want. Am I exaggerating here? Maybe I just need a system that sorts through the crap and leaves all the tall, dark and handsome bachelors on speed dial.Is there an app for that? I don’t think I’ll ever go on a dating website. Tinder offered enough shallow dating technology to last me a lifetime. I’m gonna be that old lady married to my whisk. I don’t even think it sounds all that bad. I’m just not a hundred percent confident that I could love a man as much as I love hummus with hot sauce. Or dark chocolate. I mean that would have to be one helluva smart, funny, sexy, ambitious, trustworthy, caring, honest, food-loving hunk. It’s not like I have high standards or anything.Let’s chat about these beauties for a hot minute. They were inspired by my all-time fave pinto bean and swiss chard enchiladas, which I so fervently adore because I literally don’t get sick of them. Is that not a rarity in the dinner world? Each zesty batch makes twelve enchiladas and I have three per sitting, leaving me with four awesome meals. I always look forward to enchilada night. I douse ’em with extra salsa and cubed avocado and go ham. The soaked cashews give them this uber creamy texture that makes you forget all about the fact that they don’t have the typical cheese-laden filling. Lentils and kale may sound like bird food, but fear not–these are just PERFECT.And we all need more excuses to scarf down kale, amiright?I cooked my own lentils for these. That may sound like a pain, but you really just bring them to a simmer and then go watch Orange Is the New Black or swipe right on Tinder or whatever else you do with your thirty minutes of free time. If cooking legumes from scratch isn’t your jam, feel free to use pre-cooked lentils like the one’s from Trader Joe’s. Don’t worry, we won’t call you out for being lazy. Why date when you can be in a relationship with food like this?
